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I’m 27, work as an Administrative Assistant in Albany, NY, and this week I spent some of my money on cider donuts
Assets and Debt:
Retirement balance: $7000. I started my 401(k) when I was eligible at my current company and have put in 13% since.
Savings account balance: $14,000
Checking account balance: $11,000
Credit card balance: $1100 when the diary starts, which is my spending since my August statement date. September’s statement balance gets paid off during the diary.
Student loan balance: $12,900 from a degree in English because I intended to be a technical writer. Currently on pandemic forbearance.
Car loan: $1900 when the diary starts
I really have nothing to say for myself. I had a $10/hour internship in technical writing when I was in college, and since then I’ve had one $17/hour job anywhere near that field (I did layout and proofreading), and otherwise worked retail while trying to get a job. Finally I got my current job which was $19/hour when I started and now closer to $20/hour.
TWO PAYCHECK MONTH: $2100 after $410 to my 401(k), $64 for health/dental/vision insurance, and taxes
THREE PAYCHECK MONTH: $3250 after $615 to my 401(k), $96 for health/dental/vision insurance, and taxes (October is a three paycheck month for me.)
Side job monthly takehome: $100-$150, PRE-TAX since it’s paid on a 1099
My partner and I do not pool our incomes. After the household bills he pays and the ones I pay, we have about the same amount remaining. I’m being vague about his job and income partly for his privacy and partly because I think it would be identifying.
Monthly fixed expenses
My partner pays rent, gas, and electric in full, it’s $1500 or less depending on gas and electric use
Auto + renter’s insurance: $200 (I pay in full)
Internet: $75 (I pay in full)
Trash: $26 (I pay in full)
(Edit for clarity: Neither of us gives the other any money toward the bills we each pay. I do not give him any money towards rent. I effectively do not pay rent and he effectively does not pay the smaller bills.)
Phone: $25 (my line on a family plan. My parents pay for 30 gigs of data to be shared by everyone on the plan.)
Car payment: $300 minimum (but I’ve been paying $900 to finish it off)
Student loan payment: $205 (not due so I’m not paying it until the forbearance ends. I am saving it with the intent of sending it to the loans: $1640 so far.)
Donations: $10 per paycheck goes into a ‘donation fund’, which I use when I see something to donate to
Yearly fixed expenses
$50 Sam’s Club membership
$20 Microsoft 365 subscription (I pay my parents for my share of a family plan, and to be honest they refused the money this year because of the pandemic)
Financial background questions
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education?
Yes, but I wonder how much of that was that we were interested in fields that required it. My mom has a lot of family members who were very successful in blue collar jobs, so I can’t imagine she’d have insisted we go to college if we had other plans.
Did you participate in higher education and how did you pay for it?
I have a bachelor’s degree in English. I had a half-tuition scholarship, took out the max in federal loans, put in what money I could, and my parents paid some. I would have had to take out a small private loan but other relatives loaned me the money with no interest. (I’ve paid them back.)
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
We never discussed my parents’ finances with specific numbers, but they were very clear about their philosophy of managing their spending on small things in order to afford the big things that mattered to them. When they gave us an allowance there were rules about saving and donating percentages of it, and they educated us on things like credit cards, student loans, and saving for retirement.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
Summer nanny because my parents knew the family and suggested it. After that, the internship because my parents suggested it and I wanted spending money while in college, since I’d spend most of my savings.
Did you worry about money growing up?
Only once that I can think of, when my mom mentioned she might have to get a job. (She’d always wanted to be a stay at home mom and we all knew it, so that was pretty jarring.)
Do you worry about money now?
I worry about everything, so yes. (And of course the pandemic has only made that worse.)
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself?
Never, if you count being on family plans and not splitting household expenses evenly. In terms of paying household bills, buying groceries, etc, at 24 when I moved out of my parents’ house to be with my partner (who’d recently moved too).
Do you have a financial safety net?
I’m sure my family would give me/us money if we needed it. My partner’s family would probably offer too, but given their financial situation I wouldn’t want to accept.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
$1,000 after a relative died. I wanted to use it toward a special trip in memory of him (to a foreign country), but then COVID happened so I guess I’ll have to find something else special to do with it. Or just throw it at my student loans.
Day 1- Thursday
Morning- My partner's alarm goes off. He snoozes a couple times, then gets up and ready for work, coming in to kiss me goodbye before leaving. I go back to sleep and have a nice dream about going to a dance with him, and going to a lake just outside the door to sit with our feet in the water. Then my alarm goes off and I wake up and get ready for work. I remember I still have laundry in the dryer that I forgot to fold last night-- oops. On the way to work I play along with a quiz on the radio-- I liked it more when it was more general knowledge questions, now it's mostly current events which I'm terrible at.
Lunchtime- Work's been quiet all morning. I got to chat with some coworkers about the storm and power outages last night. I didn't realize how much I need these little interactions until I went without them for two months due to the shutdown. We can't use the microwave or fridge at work due to COVID, so I'm glad I live close enough to head home for lunch. I have a leftover Korean Inspired Chicken Bowl (I used russets since my partner doesn't like sweet potatoes, and we ran out of gochujang so I added some sriracha) and a chocolate pudding cup. Check the New York Forward site for the latest COVID statistics.
Afternoon- A coworker shows me a gadget she brought in to heat up cups of water for tea. This is an awesome idea, since the hot water tap is also off due to COVID. I might have to get one myself.
After work- I head home, have an apple cider donut from a local farm for a snack, and work on my side hustle. My partner’s picking up chicken for dinner, and I cook Mrs. T's perogies to go with it, since my mom texted me that today is National Perogi Day. I would have liked to get homemade perogis, but the only place we know is pretty far away. Partner pays for the chicken, $28 with tip, and we eat when he gets home.
Evening- I go to get the clothes out of the driver and find I never turned it on. Eep. I dry them and fold them, and realize there's a hole in my jeans, so I order a new pair. I look to see if there's anything worth adding to get free shipping... and I end up adding some masks. I'd been not buying any that I liked as a safe smidge of rebellion (I'll wear it but I won't pretend to enjoy it!) and in hopes that maybe someday I can stop wearing them, but I guess I give up. ($60.34) I drink half a Sparkling Ice and write and play around online until bed. The fountain pen I'm using runs dry, so I clean it and change colors to Diamine Oxblood.
Daily total: $60.34
Day 2- Friday
Morning- Much the same as yesterday except I dream about a wild boarding school and a store of elaborate doll-sized clothes. Before heading to work I check the thermostat-- the house has been staying warm enough I still haven't turned the heat on. Looks like it might have to go on today but I'll wait until we're home for the evening.
Lunchtime- Another quiet morning. I head home and heat up leftover Chicken and Black Bean Soup (no tortilla chips and no jalapeno... but I wish I'd put in the jalapeno since I couldn't get Rotel so I used the Del Monte version and it's not as spicy). It is nice to be able to heat the soup on the stove. I start working on my grocery list for tonight. Normally I shop Sunday or Monday, we eat homecooked all week, and then get takeout (or eat out, pre-COVID) on the weekends, but my partner has to work late this month so we've shifted the takeout to during the work week. I get a notification from Prism that my credit card bill has been paid-- I have it paid three business days before the due date. The balance is now around $450. I eat a couple Cadbury candy-coated eggs (I bought a giant bag around Easter but didn’t open it until June) and check NY Forward for COVID stats.
After work- Oh good, no deluge of work at 4:05. I head home, have an apple cider donut, and work on my side hustle for a bit. I check the prompt for Flash Fiction Friday (a weekly event where you have 24 hours to write a 100-1,000 word piece inspired by the prompt) so I can start thinking about it while I shop and cook. Ooh, “blood on my name”? Interesting.
Dinnertime- I go to the grocery store and buy ingredients for four dinners (well, three and a bit: I have almost everything for tonight’s), and Polar Seltzer, plus a couple household items: CLR and Goo Gone. Also sugar and butter since I have coupons to get one of each for $0.99. ($72.28) I hate grocery shopping since the pandemic because of the masks and one-way aisles and because I have to pack my own bags so I’m always afraid I’m taking too long and the person behind me in line is judging me. I get home just as my partner gets home, and get to work on dinner which is Balsamic Mushrooms and Herby Kale Mashed Potatoes. While it’s cooking I wash dishes, since I’ve let my lunch containers pile up. It’s late by the time we eat.
Late evening- My partner opens an Ommegang Witte and sits down to watch video game streaming. I join him for a bit and share part of the beer. Then I do a little more work on my side hustle, and write and post my flash fiction piece. I see Birmingham Pen Co. has released some new inks– they’re rereleasing old colors, now made completely handmade– but not the one I’m most interested in so I [browser-]window shop but don’t order anything. Thanks to dinner and dishwashing the house has warmed up to 73– the furnace is staying off another night!
Daily total: $72.28
Day 3- Saturday
Morning- I get up around 9 on weekends. I take a shower, then work on my side hustle and play around online. My partner stays up late on weekend nights so he won’t be up for a while. I realize I should make the payment to my car loan while I’m thinking about it. The due date is the 15th, but my student loan due date was the 6th, so when I switched from focusing on student loans to focusing on my car I decided to pay everything around the 6th. Then student loans went on forbearance, extra payments pushed my car loan due date to like January ’21, and I’ve become super lax about when I pay it. I make the payment– now I should only have two left!
Noonish- I make slow cooker chili for dinner tonight. (My partner found the recipe originally, no idea where he got it, but I can tell you it calls for cocoa powder and sugar and we sub in chocolate chips instead.) and wash some dishes. I check NY Forward. Partner gets up and we order subs from an Italian deli for lunch. I spot my absentee ballot sitting on my desk, so I grab it, vote, and stick it in the mail when we leave.
Afternoon/Evening- We go pick up the subs– partner goes in and pays, based on past experience it’s around $25– and then go to a farm to pick a pumpkin ($8). While we’re there we stand in a long line for cider donuts ($8.75 for a dozen), and then go visit their animals– mostly goats and chickens plus a cow and a sheep. By the time we’re heading home we realize there’s no way we’ll want dinner if we eat the subs, so when we get home I turn off the slow cooker and eventually stick the crock in the fridge. We eat the subs and then I go back to my usual (side hustle, writing, playing around online, +/- Spotify and YouTube). I check the payment platform for my side hustle and have over $50 sitting there, so I withdraw $50 to my savings account. Head to bed at midnight.
Daily total: $16.75
Day 4- Sunday
Morning- Get up around 9, sit around in my pajamas for a while before convincing myself to get dressed. I have a cider donut (and a couple candy-coated eggs) and then watch livestream Mass from my partner’s old church. I haven’t been to church in person since the shutdown, and I’ve been rotating what church I watch every week: my church, my parents’, my college, churches I’ve been to on vacation. Then I play some Animal Crossing– I haven’t played in a while so I’ve been missing the fall features. My best friend and I had discussed playing together after she got her island set up, so I give her a text. She says she’s going to see her parents right now but maybe later.
Afternoon- Heat up leftover steak for lunch, grab a Sparkling Ice, and turn on the football game. I listen to the radio broadcast online while watching the animated game updates on the ESPN website. Really miss being able to watch my hometown teams on TV. (My parents let me use their cable subscription online, so I can watch if my team is being shown nationwide, but it’s a 1:00 game today so teams local to where I live now are also playing.) Put the chili back on for dinner tonight.
Late afternoon- Partner washes dishes. I write and watch YouTube. Consider texting my friend to ask if she’s ready for Animal Crossing but I told her to let me know and I don’t want to bug her.
Evening- Chili for dinner, and I open the last Ommegang Witte. After dinner my partner goes to the grocery store– I’d asked him to make chicken noodle soup or chicken broccoli and rice this week but he hadn’t gotten back to me on which so I didn’t buy the ingredients on Friday. He asks if I want anything, I say maybe maple cream Oreos? He returns with ingredients, gochujang, the Oreos, and Sun Chips, having spent $19 plus $5 in rewards points. After more of my usual I take a shower and head to bed at 11:30, my ‘work night’ bedtime.
Daily total: 0
Day 5- Monday
Morning- My partner snoozes, then gets up. He doesn’t kiss me goodbye and I hear him zoom off down the street, so I assume he just found out he needs to be at work ASAP. Before my alarm goes off I dream about using my telescope in my parents’ driveway. On the way to work I have to wait for someone to finish pulling out of a driveway, then let someone else pull out of their driveway to get in front of them… and after all that they both pull into a Stewarts a couple hundred feet down the road. I’m confused.
Lunchtime- Head home and eat leftover pizza for lunch, along with some Sun Chips and a couple of the candy-coated eggs. Check NY Forward.
Afternoon- I have a meeting with a manager to discuss a project I’m working on for his department. To my surprise, I find out that he also wants me to start doing some writing for his department! What?! I think I manage to be cool and matter-of-fact about this but I feel like jumping up and down.
After work- I’m making a pork roast for dinner, so– after quickly looking up how tightly to wrap it, the recipe is not specific and I’ve never done this before– I get it in the oven. Have more Sun Chips and a couple Oreos for a snack. Work on my side hustle. By the time I put potatoes in the oven to roast for a side, the smell of the roasting pork is about to make me cry. It’s my mom’s recipe so it smells like home, and during a pandemic when they live in a different state whose new cases have just gone over 10 per 100k so my state’s governor is about to announce a travel ban (well, not a ban, a required 14-day quarantine after returning, and I can’t afford that), that’s almost too much to take.
Evening- Obviously it takes a long time to roast the roast, so we eat late. I saw this coming, but Saturday threw everything off and I didn’t want to freeze the roast. My partner is super happy with the pork and with the side, garlic roast potatoes and asparagus. I only used half the potatoes and asparagus, figuring I’ll make the other half fresh to go with the leftover half of the roast. After dinner I drink half a Sparkling Ice and do my usual until bedtime. Saturday was warm and today the oven warmed the house, so I still haven’t turned on the heat.
Daily total: 0
Day 6- Tuesday
Early morning- Wake up after a dream about my grandpa dying. My mind goes straight to memories of my other grandpa dying, and it takes me a while to get back to sleep.
Morning- Typical morning routine. I remember to take the garbage out to the curb, which is not as typical as it should be.
Lunchtime- Head home, heat up leftover chili. My car is dinging about tire pressure so I’ll need to add ‘winter air’, but it’s clammy out today so I think I’ll do it tomorrow when it’s supposed to be warmer and sunny. Check NY Forward. Travel advisories not announced yet.
Afternoon- Work is dragging, and to top it off I hear a coworker tell another that she’s going to tell her a secret later. My brain being what it is, I quietly freak out that the secret is either gossip about me, or news that I’m going to be fired.
After work- Get home, bring in the trash can, check the mail and my clothing order is here. I spend a good 15 minutes trying on the jeans to decide if they fit weird and eventually decide I’m okay with them. On the bright side, they have full front pockets now! Full as in my entire phone fits into them! (This should not be so rare.) Also in the mail was the internet bill, so I schedule that in Prism. Snack on a cider donut, work on side hustle. I brace myself and check the travel advisories… and my parents’ state is not one of them? I check the Global Epidemics map– yep, it went back down to just below 10 per 100k.
Evening- Make Pork Chops in Mushroom Paprika Sauce, an old favorite– except not quite, my partner request I use cubed pork this time so it’s even more stroganoff-y. Partner gets home and we eat and then hang out for a while. Then I take a shower, a bit of my usual, and head to bed after finally turning on the heat.
Daily total: 0
Day 7- Wednesday
Morning- Morning routine and head to work. Unusually for me, I don’t remember my dream.
Lunchtime- Head home and heat up leftovers from last night. Eat a couple Oreos– we’re 2/3 of the way through the pack so I’m definitely going to be buying more of these when I shop on Friday. I remembered they were good but forgot how good.
After work: Get gas for the first time in a month. I think the farthest we’ve been from home is the cider donuts and goats farm, and we took my partner’s car both times we went there. The pump shuts off before the tank is full and I can't get it going again, so I leave with 3/4 of a tank. ($18.85) When I get home I put air in the tires, replace the worn-out twist tie on the compressor cord with a Velcro cord wrap, and Snapchat my mom thanks for letting me take some from her giant pack of cord wraps the last time I was home. (I knew I wanted them for something.) Cider donut for a snack, work on side hustle. Check Pocketguard to see if my car loan balance has been updated yet, which it hasn’t, but… uh… the employer contribution to my 401(k) has been made and it’s $700? That’s way more than I was expecting. I’m only 20% vested but still. A nice surprise. And more good news– the certificates for completing Writer’s Month (sorta like NaNoWriMo for shorter pieces– you have to fill 31 prompts in around 40 days) are out! I’m pretty proud of myself for finishing.
Dinnertime- Partner arrives home (much earlier than the last two days) with a pint of Pumpkin to Talk About ice cream he picked up while getting a coffee. Yay! I make the potato and asparagus side again and heat up the pork and gravy, and we have dinner. Then I drink half a Sparkling Ice and write for a bit, until the fountain pen I’m using– the one I didn’t clean and fill last week– runs dry.
After dinner: I always call my mom on Wednesday nights and she always puts me on speaker so I can ‘hang out’ with her, my dad, and any siblings who are around. I always put her on speaker too because of the length of the calls, and so if I have a pen to clean I can do that while we talk. I clean the pen and fill it with Robert Oster Gold Antiqua. We talk until almost midnight– the except to the work night bedtime is my calls with Mom.
Daily total: $18.85
Food & Drink: $67.55
Fun & Entertainment: $8
Clothes & Beauty: $60.34
Grand total: $168.22
This was an average-to-high spending week for me. I hadn’t bought clothes since March, and I only got gas every two to three weeks even before the pandemic. Between naturally being a saver and going a total of two years without a full-time job after college, I’m really good at not spending money on myself. Part of this is being really good at not buying things to try to fill a void they can't fill, which has been a useful skill since the pandemic began and left me with so much void that no thing can fill.
/r/QOTSA Official Band of the Week 21: ALL THEM WITCHES
I suppose it is possible. Some people can be Peter Gabriel fans without being Genesis fans, or Ozzy Osbourne fans without being Black Sabbath fans, or Audioslave fans without being fans of Soundgarden and Rage Against the Machine. And I am pretty sure that there are Foo Fighters fans out there who are not fans of Nirvana -- probably because Foo Fighters are a way better band than Nirvana.
Yeah, I said it. Come at me.
But QotSA without Kyuss? I can’t see it. Maybe I am biased because I just love the low desert sound. Heavy riffs, lots of fuzz ,and earthquake-inducing bass are my jam. That’s why I love Self-Titled so much and why I feel 18 A.D. is chronically underappreciated as a song, and it is an absolute crime that they don’t play it live.
I know I am not alone in this. Kyuss were a genre defining band that created what we now call Stoner Rock. Bands like Valley of the Sun, King Buffalo, Truckfighters, Stonerror, Sleep, Clutch, Mother Engine, Mondo Generator, Duel, and Fu Manchu all continue to write and perform Stoner Rock today. If you haven’t taken a dive into this scene, I totally envy the fact that you get to experience this music for the first time.
Today we are going to check out a great Stoner Rock band that just dropped a new album a few weeks ago. They have more fuzz than a five day backwoods fishing trip. They have bigger jams than Smucker’s, Welch’s, and Kraft combined. They will make your one-hitter hit a home run. You are gonna want to roll down the windows of your low riding caddy and drive all night through the desert.
Yep, you are in for a treat. This week’s band is ALL THEM WITCHES.
You are familiar with the Hero’s journey, right? That is the literary trope where our protagonists leave their comfortable little world, are mentored through a series of increasing challenges, find themselves at a low point, overcome obstacles, and return home greater and wiser than before?
As with every story of heroes, our group of adventurers from Nashville Tennessee went on a truly epic journey. Drummer Robby Staebler had just arrived in Nashville from Portland, Oregon and was looking for some buds to start a band. He had rolled up at his new home in the back of a moving van, because his mom had decided that he was just not good enough to ride up front. His dad was conspicuously absent. After meeting a sketchy male role model with a Smashmouth-esque chinstrap beard, he was forced by this would-be academic to enslave a small animal. He then ran away from home to engage in a series of escalating gladiatorial fights for money.
Wait. Shit. That is the plot of Pokemon Emerald, not the story of All Them Witches. Damn free emulators. Such a massive time sink.
Mudkip for the win. You are damn right I’m bringing back that meme.
Where was I? I kinda got distracted there. Oh yeah. Robby Staebler was looking for a band. He met guitarist Ben McLeod in a bar (remember when we could meet people in bars?) and then met aspiring drama student Charles Michael Parks Jr. when he took a job at “a corporate hippie store”. Parks Jr. turned those theatre aspirations into being a great frontman and bass player. The band rounded out their membership with Allan Van Cleave, a friend of Staebler, on keys. All Them Witches took the inspiration for their name from the set-prop book entitled All of Them Witches in the 1968 Roman Polanski Spawn-of-Satan movie Rosemary’s Baby.
Let’s get something else out of the way: Yes, I said Nashville Tennesee. The Buckle of the Bible Belt. The Protestant Vatican. The Athens of the South. The Hot Chicken Capital. Yes, the self-proclaimed Music City is perennially associated with Country music, Gospel music and, to a lesser extent, contemporary Christian Rock. There is a Jazz scene. There are active Barbershop groups. The city is the home of the Grand Ole Opry and the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum. Hee Haw was shot there. It is a city that, until a few decades ago, still had strong ties to the Confederacy.
How the hell did a Stoner Rock band start there?
Quickly, that’s how.
The band were officially formed in February of 2012 (remember when that year was supposed to be the end of the world? C’mon, Mayans, if you really meant 2020 why didn’t you just say 2020?) and released their first album, Our Mother Electricity, on December 6th, 2012. Being from Nashville, the album was of course released on the German heavy psych label Elektrohasch Schallplatten. So just so we’re clear: Stoner Rock was born in the California Desert and then adopted by a band from Tennessee and released on a German label. I just have one question: Where the fuck is Carmen Sandiego?
To be fair, All Them Witches characterized their debut sound as being ‘psychedelta rock’...which kinda sounds like a knock off version of an X-Man. The album is full of heavy jams. Listeners can expect to hear the influence of the blues mixed with deep fuzz and highly compressed vocals. Until it Unwinds is over eight minutes of rolling swagger that will have you thinking about 50 Million Year Trip. Heavy/Like a Witch has some definite Stone Temple Pilots vibes and is a great opener. The true standout on the album is The Urn, a dark and twisted fable that is really the antithesis of everything one associates with music in the Bible Belt. The album was a declaration of war on everything cheery and pleasant to be found in the Music City, and a bold statement from a band finding its feet.
The band were not entirely happy with the production on Our Mother Electricity. In order to assert themselves, they went ultra low-tech. The released the Extra Pleasant EP in July of 2013. It was recorded on a 4-track cassette tape using only two microphones. Production-wise, it is a step back - but when you listen to it on headphones, you can appreciate the raw talent. It is a weird low-fi follow up and almost like listening to a debut rather than the first album. Listening to this EP is like hearing a Pink Floyd cover band’s first original songs that have been mashed up with Clutch and recorded on an iPhone 4. Even with those limitations, tracks like Sludger will stay with you and are worth your time.
While their first two releases had some modest success, All Them Witches really did not get widespread acclaim until the release of their second full album, Lightning at the Door, in late 2013. Every band that has ever released anything on Bandcamp wants to experience the kind of underground word-of-mouth sensation that this album generated. The album is part-concept, part-thematic and has narrative threads that tie it together (e.g. the two tracks The Marriage of Coyote Woman and The Death of Coyote Woman - clearly, not a happy ending for the titular character). If you loved Songs for the Deaf and Rated R, then this is the album that you are going to want to start with as an introduction to the band. It has some amazing tracks - Funeral for a Great Drunken Bird and When God Comes Back are great on their own - but it is best experienced as a complete album. Do yourself a favor: Find a great set of headphones and listen to it front to back. You’ll thank me.
How do you follow up a concept album that gives you unforeseen popularity and access to a broader audience? Do you, say, create a dark follow-up to it, and find the title for that album in a lyric from a hidden track?
Who the fuck would make a weird choice like that?
All Them Witches took a different route and decided to instead channel their inner Beck. The Effervescent EP came out in June of 2014. There are only two songs, each clocking in at about 25 minutes long. Side A is Effervescent and Side B is Tnecsevreffe. The EP is a Rorschach blot of instrumental music in multiple movements that channels incredible musicality and allows you to superimpose your own meaning on it. It is like listening to Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin have a baby, if that baby was raised listening to coyotes howl and instrumental Kyuss tracks all mashed together on one continuous loop. Fans of the German band Mother Engine will hear definite parallels. The weird thing about Effervescent is its length: it is hard to think of it as an EP, because it is 50 minutes of music. But it has only two tracks, so it can’t really be an album...can it?
Yes, before you start in on me, I know about Sleep’s Dopesmoker. That 2003 one-song album may also have influenced our boys from the Hee Haw city.
So after playing around with longer and more intricate multiple-movement songs, it is no surprise that All Them Witches dropped a 57 minute ‘EP’ in 2015. A Sweet Release hit the airwaves on April 20. Yep, 4/20. No, that was not a coincidence. No, I’m not going to explain that to you. If you gotta ask, you’ll never know. Yes, if anyone doubted at all that this band was a Stoner Rock band, fuck all y’all, the release date is proof. Tracks on the EP range in length from almost 2 and a half minutes to over 24 minutes. It is a spacey, laid-back jam that is at times hypnotic and far-reaching, and equally urgent and immersive.
I’m not saying that you need to be high to appreciate this EP. I’m just saying that listening to Interstate Bleach Party and Howdy Hoodee Slank in the right…mood ...can make you see the color Octarine.
Lightning at the Door and Effervescent cemented All Them Witches as true underground masters of Stoner Rock. 2015’s Dying Surfer Meets His Maker saw them broaden their musical scope and refine their sound. The album (yes, it is an album this time) leans heavily into the Blues with layers of grunge and psychedelia and celtic strings and even harmonicas. (Side note: the last time I heard harmonicas used in Stoner Rock was never. So good on them. I will say this: the hook brings you back.) All these influences were mixed in one big bowl and smoked out the top of a giant bong for full effect. It is at the same time a more technical and more mellow album. Stand out tracks on the album are the hard hitting Dirt Preachers and El Centro and This is Where it Falls Apart.
All Them Witches found themselves touring the small club circuit and then playing bigger and bigger stages. They got invited to festivals like Bonnaroo and were greeted by enthusiastic fans (and clouds of fragrant haze). There is nothing like performing live to hone a band’s edge. By the time Sleeping Through the War dropped in 2017, the boys had been together, touring and recording, for five years. The album is tightly crafted by a tight band. There are even guest vocalists to add texture and harmony to the songs. Less mellow than its predecessor, the album roars right from the opening track - Bulls - through to the closing track, Guess I’ll Go Live On The Internet. 3-5-7 is probably one of the best Stoner Rock tracks you will come across. And when you recognize the tonal mirroring of Am I Going Up with Alabaster, you feel smarter than you actually are. Lots of albums have made me bang my head; very few have made me stop and recognize the musical structure that underpins the melody. That is Tool-level composition right there. Long story short: this is an album put out by a band in its prime and it does not disappoint.
If you remember what happened in English class, what follows the apotheosis for the main character is the falling action or denouement. All Them Witches had peaked with Sleeping Through the War and had nowhere to go but down. The 2018 Lost and Found EP was four (comparatively) short covers and remixes that seemed more like leftovers than an actual meal. Sure, leftovers can be tasty, but All Them Witches fans were used to getting new and better breakfasts, luncheons and dinners and instead got last Tuesday’s reheated bean burrito. Which is fine, if you dig burritos, but it is still not as good as a nice, juicy steak.
Goddam, is anyone else craving a meal? Why is it so smoky in here, and why do I want to eat burritos and Doritos?
Hehe. Dorito. Burrito.
Fuck. I need to focus. Moving on.
Any fan of the band could tell that something was up, and that Lost and Found was at best a B-Side. It soon became evident that something really was up. Keyboardist (and part-time violinist) Allan Van Cleave was out of the band. This left a gigantic Ray Manzarek-esque hole in the band’s sound. The breakup was not a good one, and left some scars.
Van Cleave was replaced by Jonathan Draper, and the band released the album ATW in Sept of 2018. Sonically, the album is sound, but seems to lack the spark of greatness that was in everything prior to Lost and Found. The technical skills are there - Draper knows his way around a keyboard, and that is clearly evident on Fishbelly 86 Onions - but it kinda (IMHO) sounds more like an amazing All Them Witches cover album than an actual effort by the band. It is kinda like Bryan Cranston dressing up in a Walter White mask. It is super close to previous efforts but just not the same, somehow. 1st vs. 2nd is a jam and so is Diamond, and the album has an unrelenting energy, but it is just a bit off the mark.
The band must have felt something similar. Draper was turfed from the group just a month after ATW dropped. Instead of trying to recreate the four member sound that had anchored them since John Cusak and Amanda Peet’s landmark film, they decided to choose a new direction entirely.
When bands shuffle their lineup, it tends to be adding members (like our very own ancient monarchs) or replacing members. Very few bands successfully delete members. Well, OK, that band from Liverpool did successfully delete Stuart Sutcliffe from its lineup and they went on to do alright. Genesis made a successful transition from a 4-piece to a 3-piece when Peter Gabriel left. Oasis got 100% better when Liam Gallagher and his ego both quit. But losing an integral part of your sound - and the keyboards were central in so many songs - would be a tough transition. The band’s fanbase-not-so secretly worried that the lack of keyboardist would spell the end. Thankfully, we were wrong.
All Them Witches took that leap. Digging into their nomenclature and lore, they released a single as a three-piece band on Halloween of 2019. 1X1 is an angry, powerful Stoner Rock jam with a video that is an homage to Jesus Christ Pose. It is a Kyuss-meets-Tool-meets-Led Zeppelin-at-a-Black-Sabbath-concert song that made everyone simultaneously applaud and exhale.
They were back.
The new LP Nothing as the Ideal just dropped on September 4th, 2020. It is a leaner, meaner iteration of the band that seems to have lost no momentum. Everything resonates with power. Saturnine and Iron Jaw evokes Tony Iommi riffage. The Children of Coyote Women is a direct callback to the album Lightning at the Door. 41 is a thumping tune and Enemy of my Enemy is a relentless sonic attack. But most importantly, we get to see All Them Witches evolve as a band but hang on to the core of their sound.
You’re never going to hear this band on your local top 40 radio station. You might catch them on College radio, if the DJ is cool enough. Like most great music nowadays, you have to go looking to find it. But when you do find it, what an amazing experience it can be.
So now you have completed your Hero’s Journey (Twist! It turns out that YOU were the hero all along!) According to the trope, you are now older and wiser because you have ventured out of your comfortable little world.
Now prove me right, hero. Go listen and awaken your inner stoner. And bring me some goddamn Doritos. Cool Ranch for the win.
Links to QOTSA
Josh has included All Them Witches on The Alligator Hour and is known to be a fan of the band.
A recent review of Nothing as the Ideal stated that Charles Michael Parks Jr.’s voice was “Fantastic...like a bassier Josh Homme”.
More importantly, All Them Witches are a Stoner Rock band...and Josh literally invented the genre. It is clear that while the band has grown and evolved and are taking themselves to new places, their music has been inspired by that downtuned, low desert Kyuss groove.
Until it Unwinds
Heavy/Like a Witch
Extra Pleasant EP
The Marriage of Coyote Woman
Funeral for a Great Drunken Bird
When God Comes Back -- Live and badass
Interstate Bleach Party
Howdy Hoodee Slank
Dirt Preachers -- Live in 2016
This is Where it Falls Apart
Fishbelly 86 Onions
1st vs. 2nd
Under Pressure -- yes, that song.
The Children of Coyote Woman
Enemy of my Enemy
Show Them Some Love
Alice in Chains
King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard
Rage Against the Machine
Run the Jewels
Eagles of Death Metal
Them Crooked Vultures
Greta Van Fleet
Sound City Players