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Finished my emotional multi-year GMAT journey: from a 540 to a 730
Just wanted to share my experience with the GMAT now that I've finally finished it after several years of on-and-off studying. I'm not a quant person at all, so my journey has really been about the quant side of things. Sorry in advance that this is so long, but TLDR; I spent over two years and thousands of dollars studying for this test and finally finished with a 730 (Q49, V41, IR8).
I first started studying around 3 years ago. I figured the GMAT would be like any other standardized test and that all the prep companies would be the same, so I bought a book from Princeton Review and went through the whole thing. Took an official practice exam and scored a shocking 540; I was pretty demoralized and decided I needed to take an actual class. I signed up for a two-month, in-person class through Kaplan and studied hours and hours on top of the class. I thought it was working; I was pulling down 700 / 710 on Kaplan's practice tests and felt ready to go, given I'd heard a lot of people do 10-30 points better on the real thing. I signed up for a test and got a 640, which was pretty upsetting given where I had been testing and that my goal was 720+ since I'm shooting for an M7.
When I got my score, I cried almost instantly. At that point, I finally realized just how exhausted I was. I had been putting all my spare time into studying, in doing so skipping social events and falling behind at work. I had lost all my motivation to keep studying, and 80 points felt like a chasm I couldn't bridge. I put my GMAT prep books in the back of my closet and tried to forget about them for a while, but every time I had free time, a nagging feeling made me feel guilty for not studying. I ignored it for months and months, telling myself I needed to focus on my career and live my life a little bit. These excuses worked for a while, but I'm a habitual over-achiever and I couldn't shake the feeling that I was letting myself down. Finally, about a year and a half ago, I purchased the Manhattan Prep books. Despite traveling every week and working 60-80 hours, I would wake up before I had to be at my client site to get in anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours of studying in. It was long, slow, and honestly, pretty depressing. It took me months to get through the books, and sometimes I took a week or two off from studying because I truly couldn't motivate myself to study more. Finally, I got through all the books, and had a four inch stack of notecards to show for it.
I purchased the 2019 OG books and the Advanced Quant MPrep book. Wanting to prove to myself that I was finally ready for the hardest problems, I dove into the AQ book. I was very, very wrong. Reading through the material didn't make any sense to me, and I didn't even know where to begin with the problems. I realized that while I had learned the material and knew the flashcards, I had no idea how to actually apply the concepts to GMAT problems, despite doing the Manhattan ones that were in the books. I had taught myself how to do the problems only in an isolated environment, and I couldn't apply them to the AQ book or the OG problems. No matter how much I studied, I couldn't seem to get the problems right.
At that point I hit another wall. Work had been grueling for a while and I had some challenges in my personal life, and I decided that I was going to take another break for my mental health. The same nagging feelings I had from my previous break returned whenever I had free time, and I found watching Netflix or hanging with friends had become stressful. To make matters worse, I had a lot of friends applying to business school at that time, and all of them had 720+ scores (many 740+) and were getting into M7 programs. I felt like a complete failure but I avoided talking about it. The break lasted months, much longer than I had anticipated, but I couldn't bring myself to study anymore.
Finally, three months ago, I was speaking to a friend who had just started at an M7, and opened up about my terrible journey. Fortunately, she had a similar experience; she told me that the first three times she sat for the GMAT, she scored lower with each consecutive test. In the end, it took her 5 attempts to get her score (I think a 740, but maybe higher). She told me that TTP had gotten her to where she needed to go, and highly recommended it.
I set an ultimatum for myself. I would try ONE more prep program (at this point, I had done Princeton Review, Kaplan, Manhattan Prep, and the OGs) and give myself to the end of 2020 to finish. If I couldn't get what I needed by then, I'd either try my hand at the GRE or give up on an MBA altogether. I started TTP in September and immediately noticed the difference between it and the other GMAT programs I had tried. No frills, straightforward, easy to use, and HARD. But I really felt like I was learning new ways of thinking about quant problems, and for once I was actually getting the Medium and Hard problems right. Concurrently, I would try 10-15 OG problems a day to make sure I could actually apply what I was learning from TTP to the real thing. Slowly, I watched my error log go from 8, 9, 10 problems wrong a day to 5 or 6, and then finally, 1 or 2 wrong a day. I couldn't believe it. I was feeling confident for the first time ever, and decided to sign up for a test.
I have horrible test anxiety - as in, shaking the day before, can't focus on anything else, extremely irritable, nauseous stomach type anxiety. It's always been an issue for me, but given my history with this exam, it was truly at its worst the day before. I had been forcing myself to go to bed at 9 pm every night, but I would lay there for hours before I could actually fall asleep and would wake up once or twice a night. I tried CBD oil and melatonin, but couldn't get anything to work. The night before my exam was the worst. I truly think I slept maybe 2 hours before my alarm went off, and I felt awful getting out of bed. But I was determined to focus, and that I wouldn't waste my chance just because I hadn't slept well. I drank coffee and did a short morning workout to get my blood flowing, and repeatedly told myself that it was just a test, and I could take it again if I bombed.
When I got to the start of the test, I was shaking so hard I could barely click the bubbles on the screen. I always do Quant first since I subscribe to the ideology that your brain does best when it's fresh (rather than warmed up with Verbal). I think I spent maybe 4 minutes on the first question. I totally blanked and couldn't write steadily, and I almost gave up right there. But I decided to take 20 seconds to close my eyes and breathe, and that actually helped. When I started back up again, something switched. The problems became easier all of the sudden - so much so that I kept thinking I must've been bombing them or missing something - and when I got to my final question I had six minutes left. I purposely don't look at the time left during the middle of the exam because I get distracted by trying to calculate how much time I have left per question, so I couldn't believe it when I saw how much time I had left left because time management had been an issue for me before. The panic set in again, and I was sure I had bombed it. Luckily, I answered the last question pretty quickly, and took a few minutes to just breathe and relax.
The rest of the exam is a blur to me. I remember thinking the Verbal was unusually hard and I was annoyed at myself for ignoring it (I truly hadn't studied any Verbal for over a year, but I read a lot, so I figured that would help). I felt better about IR; it's usually hit or miss for me, but for some reason that day I found all the problems to be very straightforward. By the time I got to the essay, I was shaking again, because I knew all that separated me from my score was a few measly paragraphs that I could quickly piece together. I wrote them out, feeling my heart pounding out of my chest the whole time. I finished with seven minutes left, and again took a few minutes just to breathe. I was mentally preparing for a terrible score, telling myself that if I could get more sleep next time, if I could review the problems I got wrong on TTP and in the OG to see where I was going wrong, then I could deal with yet another low score because I'd have a real plan of attack to address it. Finally, I felt calm enough, and hit submit to get my score.
I could see out of my peripheral vision that my scores had popped up, but I avoided looking for 10 or so seconds until I really couldn't wait anymore. I looked and gasped out loud. I had scored a 730, with a Q49, V41, and IR8 split. I'd never done so well on Quant or IR, and again I cried right in the testing room, but this time tears of joy. Never in my life have a clicked "ACCEPT SCORE" so fast, and I have to say it was the best feeling I've had in a long time.
When I got to my car, the real tears started flowing. Up until that point I had felt so much anxiety about this test, and it hung over my head any time I wanted to do something fun with my free time. My body was exhausted from years of studying, but particularly from the endless TTP problems I did from morning to night during my time off. I hadn't really had time to process how much it had taken out of me. I called my family, who had eagerly been awaiting to hear my score, and they cried over the phone with me. My friends too. Honestly, as lame as it sounds, it was probably the best moment of my life in the past five years (and yes, that includes undergrad graduation).
I know this all sounds very dramatic, but I'm very hard on myself and rarely pleased with my performance when it comes to work or academics. To be honest, the way I handled this anxiety and the pressure I put on myself has made me realize I could really benefit from therapy to understand how not to base my sense of self-worth on my accomplishments. As I type this, I actually have a few tabs of potential therapists open now. It had been so hard for me to accept that I couldn't perform as well as the people around me had, and it was so demoralizing to see how easy it seemed for them. I think a lot of us have this problem: basing our view of ourselves solely on our accomplishments. To me, the GMAT felt like my biggest failure to-date, and it weighed on me for years. Now that I'm done, I really regret how much it took over my life. I'm young, and I'm not going to get my early 20s back, so it's somewhat sad to me to know that at least a few of these years will be marred by the nonstop anxiety I felt from this exam. I'm proud I finally got the score I wanted, but if there's any advice I'd give to someone beyond "use TTP," it's that having a 7 in front of your GMAT score shouldn't be something that consumes you, and if you find that it's getting to be that way, reach out to your support systems for help.
But it's over now, and I can move on with my life. Thanks for reading.
9/11 and the Mandela Effect
You’ve probably seen the meme that says we’re living in the wrong timeline. While this sounds like a joke, there might be some truth to it. There are some researchers who claim what happened on 9/11 was a temporal event that caused our timeline to split in two. Supposedly there is a parallel world where the Twin Towers still exist and the apocalypse is being avoided. This is not to say I think we are living in the wrong timeline, but that is something I will get into in another thread. Just know that there is still hope.submitted by nickhintonn333 to conspiracy
Perhaps the darkest timeline is needed for some collective shadow work.
However, I do think our timeline has been altered and probably more times than once. While this is not something you can really prove, there are many oddities surrounding 9/11 as well as a synchronistic pattern hidden in pop culture that seems to point to this. In the movie Back to the Future, after the protagonist accidentally activates a time machine and alters the future, the Twin Pines Mall becomes the Lone Pine Mall. Notice how the clock reads 9:11 when flipped upside down.
134 reads like hel when flipped upside too. Are we living in a bardo state like in the movie Jacob's Ladder or the show The Good Place?
Was this a reference to the Mandela Effect and the Twin Towers becoming the One World Trade Center? In the second Back to the Future movie, the protagonists accidentally create a new timeline where a wealthy man named Biff takes over their town. Biff lives in a skyscraper casino and turns their town into a chaotic dystopia. According to the screenwriter Bob Gale, Biff was based on Donald Trump. This is not a political statement, I’m just saying it’s odd how things turned out.
I wonder if Bob Gale knew Trump would run for president?
In the Super Mario Bros. movie, a meteorite impact millions of years ago caused the universe to split into two timelines, the one we live in, and one where dinosaurs evolved into a humanoid race. President Koopa, a reptilian human hybrid, seems to be another caricature of Trump. President Koopa wants to merge his dimension with ours and attempts to rule Manhattan from the Twin Towers, which are portrayed as a gateway between worlds. The Super Mario franchise is strange when you think about shamans eating mushrooms to commune with serpent gods.
Looks kind of similar, right?
There are many more examples of the WTC acting as a gateway. In an episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the Twin Towers are used to transmit energy that propels the earth into another dimension. Take note of the sphere between the buildings, this will become relevant later. In the intro of Power Rangers: Time Force, a machine called the Time Shadow is seen standing on the towers. Take note of the moon in the background as well. This will become relevant too. During the final scene of Fringe season 1, the WTC is seen intact in a parallel universe. In the intro of Power Rangers: Time Force, a machine called the Time Shadow is seen standing on the towers. Take note of the moon in the background as well. This will become relevant too. During the final scene of Fringe season 1, the WTC is seen intact in a parallel universe.
I miss cartoons.
Another interesting example can be found in Star Trek. In the show, space explorers are sent back in time to stop an alien invasion in the 1940s that altered the outcome of WWII and allowed the Nazis to invade the US. Once they kill the alien leader, one of the characters tells the protagonist that the timeline has corrected itself just as an image of the Twin Towers burning passes in the background.
From Star Trek: Enterprise
The idea of a parallel world where the Nazis won WWII is very prominent in pop culture. But why is this? Is it possible creative people can intuitively sense other realities while absorbed in the act of creating? Philip K. Dick believed that’s what he did when he wrote The Man in the High Castle. He claimed:
"I in my stories and novels sometimes write about counterfeit worlds. Semi-real worlds as well as deranged private worlds, inhabited often by just one person…. At no time did I have a theoretical or conscious explanation for my preoccupation with these pluriform pseudo-worlds, but now I think I understand. What I was sensing was the manifold of partially actualized realities lying tangent to what evidently is the most actualized one—the one that the majority of us, by consensus gentium, agree on."
Coincidentally, Philip K. Dick was one of the first modern thinkers to predict the Mandela Effect. He once declared:
“we are living in a computer-programmed reality, and the only clue we have to it is when some variable is changed, and some alteration in our reality occurs.”
The Nazis were rumored to be in possession of a time machine known as Die Glocke, or in English, The Bell. They were supposedly taught how to build this device by extraterrestrials and the craft was said to be kept in a facility known as Der Riese, or The Giant. It sounds far fetched, but The Nazi Party was actually formed from The Thule Society, an occult group that dabbled in channeling and other magical practices. They were also known to use the Black Sun symbol, an esoteric representation of a gateway into another dimension.
In Twin Peaks, a show about a small town caught in the midst of an interdimensional battle between good and evil, there seems to be a reference to Die Glocke. In season 8 there is a device that looks just like it, and at one point, a character called The Giant appears next to it.
A conception of Die Glocke compared to the mysterious bell device in Twin Peaks.
Twin Peaks is full of occult symbolism. In one episode a character is given instructions to find a portal that opens 253 yards east of Jack Rabbit’s Palace at 2:53 pm on October 1st. This portal is located in Washington. However, there is another in Las Vegas. Strangely enough, on October 1st, 2017, the Las Vegas shooting occurred in a lot 253 yards away from the Luxor Hotel, a giant black pyramid with the strongest beam of light in the world shooting out of it. Victims were mostly those attending the Route 91 Harvest music festival.
There's also black pyramids on the instructions.
But it gets stranger. Jason Aldean was one of the headliners. If you look at his tattoos, there’s a Jack card and an Ace card underneath a black sun, which as mentioned earlier, is an occult symbol that represents a portal. This card from the Illuminati game is almost identical. A Jack is worth 10 points. An Ace is worth 1 point. This odd coincidence seems to be a reference to the date 10/1. Keep in mind this date looks like the number 101. This will become relevant too. But was the Route 91 Harvest a literal harvest of souls meant to energize a portal?
This one is too much of a coincidence for me.
The name Twin Peaks seems to be a reference to the Twin Pillars, a Masonic concept that originated from the Biblical idea of Boaz and Jachin, two pillars that stood on the porch of King Solomon's Temple. The Twin Pillars can be found in ancient architecture all over the world and are sometimes used in Tarot. They are said to represent a doorway into a higher realm. In this Masonic artwork, you can see the Black Sun between them.
Jachin, Boaz, and the Black Sun.
The Twin Pillars and the gateway in between can be represented by the number 101. In Twin Peaks, the entrance to The Black Lodge, a place that exists in another dimension, is depicted as a rabbit hole between two trees, which resembles a zero between two ones. In George Orwell’s famous novel 1984, Room 101 is a place where people’s worst fears come true. In The Matrix, Neo’s apartment number is 101. Here it’s interesting to note that he escapes the matrix by going in room 303. This year marks 303 years since Freemasonry was founded. Perhaps they will make their getaway come December? Many occult researchers claim the Twin Towers were supposed to represent the Twin Pillars. There even used to be a statue called The Sphere placed in between them, making the buildings resemble the 101 Gateway.
The Black Lodge entrance from Twin Peaks and The Sphere centered between the Twin Towers.
Is it possible that the WTC‘s design was intended to create an interdimensional doorway using sacred geometry? Some say the Twin Towers even acted as a tuning fork. The buildings were wrapped in aluminum alloy with a resonant hollow interior. If you look at the picture above and to the right, you can kind of see how the sides of the towers even look like one. The Colgate Clock also once faced the WTC from across the water. If you’ve read my previous threads, you’ll probably notice it’s octagonal shape. Many portals in pop culture are portrayed as being 8 sided, like CERN, the largest particle collider in the world. Many conspiracy theorists speculate CERN is actually an interdimensional doorway. Some of the scientists working there have even said this. Why is there so much symbolism? Can it all really be just a coincidence at this point? Did 9/11 really alter our timeline?
The Colgate Clock compared to CERN.
According to many people, 9/11 is the reason the Statue of Liberty’s torch is closed. However, this isn’t true. Lady Liberty’s torch has been closed for over 100 years. Yet, there are some people who claim to have visited it. But according to official history, this is impossible. In this reality, The Black Tom Explosion was the reason the Lady Liberty’s torch closed. The explosion occurred in 1916 and was one of the first foreign attacks on US soil prior to Pearl Harbor. The explosion was also one of the largest non-nuclear explosions ever documented. The explosion was so powerful it caused the outer wall of Jersey City's city hall to crack and the Brooklyn Bridge to shake. Ironically, besides Lady Liberty’s torch, the explosion lodged shrapnel in the clock tower of The Jersey Journal building, stopping the clock at 2:12 am. It also caused windows miles away in Times Square to shatter. Perhaps the matrix was trying to tell us something. Was this a time shattering event?
Some people also claim they remember the Statue of Liberty being on Ellis Island. However, it has always been on Liberty Island. Once again, this is not something I recall learning in school. I’m sure some people do, but if my theory is correct, it’s because only some people in this timeline are from the old one. However, you can still find what appears to be residue left over from the previous reality.
Residue from a previous reality?
There are references in pop culture that seem to hint at the connection between the Mandela Effect and Lady Liberty as well. In the video game Assassin’s Creed Unity, the protagonist must find an exit portal to get himself out of a simulation. He finds it on the statue’s torch. In the movie Men in Black II, the statue’s torch is actually a giant Neuralyzer, a handheld device that uses a bright white flash to wipe people’s minds. At the end of the movie, the torch is activated and it illuminates the sky, erasing the memory of everyone in New York City.
The scenes from Assassin's Creed and Men In Black II
In the Netflix series The OA, a show about people who can jump between parallel universes, the Statue of Liberty shows up a lot. It seems to play an important role that was never really explained due to the show’s sudden cancellation. Some fans have pointed out that in one scene, Lady Liberty is holding her torch in the wrong hand. Some say this was just an error while others think it may have a deeper meaning.
The Statue of Liberty scene from The OA.
In The OA, the protagonist searches for The Rose Window, an object she says acts like a portal to other dimensions. I find this very symbolic considering the Twin Pillar symbolism mentioned earlier. Many older cathedrals have huge rose windows centered between two tall towers.
Old cathedrals with 101 Gateway symbolism built into the architecture.
If you’ve read my previous threads, you might have already made the connection that the 101 Gateway is another version of the Saturn Stargate. If you’re not familiar with the theory, we live in a simulation controlled by Saturn and the Moon, and The Elite are tying to break out. Our simulated reality is sometimes represented by a cube, and some say The Kaaba is one of these symbolic structures. The Kaaba sits between two pillars underneath a clocktower with a crescent moon on top.
Kaaba at Mecca.
Ironically, Fritz Koenig, the artist who created The Sphere sculpture between the Twin Towers, said The Kaaba was the inspiration behind his art installation. We can see this symbolism repeated in much of our pop culture as well. In the video game Fortnite, a giant cube destroys a location called Tilted Towers then forms a portal in the sky. At another point in the game, it is revealed that the cube’s true form is a giant demon named the Storm King. His horns are reminiscent of a crescent moon.
The second time you fight the Storm King its at a location called Twine Peaks lmao.
But are there anymore significant Mandela Effects associated with the WTC? According to some people, Hurricane Erin never happened in their timeline. If you‘re unaware, like I was until recently, there was a massive hurricane headed right for New York on the morning of 9/11. Because of the events that occurred on 9/11, I understand how Hurricane Erin would be easy to forget. Nevertheless, the storm was strange. Hurricane Erin, which was slightly larger than Hurricane Katrina, received almost no media coverage as she charged toward New York City. On the morning of 9/11, just as the planes were about to hit, Hurricane Erin grew to her largest size, but slowed down and remained almost stationary off the East coast. But right after the WTC fell, she made a sharp right turn and headed back out to sea.
Hurricane Erin on September 11th, 2001.
Hurricane Erin’s name is also interesting. The name Erin originated from Ériu, a goddess typically seen by the sea playing a harp. I find this curious becau HAARP uses extremely powerful radio frequencies to heat up the ionosphere and create clouds of plasma. Not only does this affect the climate, but the electromagnetic waves produced by it could hypothetically mess with our minds, perhaps changing or even erasing our memories. se many conspiracy theorists blame HAARP for both weather manipulation and the Mandela Effect.
In my last thread, I talked about MH370. I believe it’s disappearance, like the events discussed in this thread, was a part of a Saturn Stargate ritual. A sacrifice to the god of time. Would it be beyond the god of the fourth dimension to grant someone access to a wormhole? Perhaps The Elite are not purposely creating Mandela Effects and branching timelines. Perhaps it is just a side effect of trying to beak the matrix. But I digress. At the end of my last thread I said I would talk more about rabbit symbolism and its association with time travel. However, before I talk about that, or the Law of One, I thought I should talk about this first. Thanks for reading.
Oh yeah, in case you did read my last thread, check this out. The fact that this article was posted 2 weeks after my MH370 conspiracy post has me kind of spooked lol.